Relationships: the Disney model
What little girl doesn't dream that she's secretly a princess? None!
However, if she were to follow the Disney Model for Extremely Risky Relationships, she'd be married at 16 after dating for only a few days, and her future spouse may/may not be related to her. In The Little Mermaid, a girl goes exactly where she's not supposed to (the surface), meets her people's greatest predator (humans), and becomes infatuated enough to essentially sell her soul for a potential husband (If spending your life as a sentient shrimp cocktail in waiting doesn't qualify as at least some level of hell, you've got some personal empowerment issues to work out).
After catching her on the surface, her father confronts her about her "adventure," and she declares, "I'm 16-years old. I'm not a child anymore." After a metamorphosis t least as traumatic as a sex change, she becomes an entirely different species, albeit one with the appropriate genitalia (now that would have been a plot twist!) and heads for shore. After spending three days without having a single conversation with the man of her dreams, she goes ahead and marries him, thereby making drunken, random Las Vegas marriages look romantic and well-planned.
Where does the incest come into play? That would be compliments of The Lion King. Oh yeah. Extending beyond the realm of the back-water hills of Appalachia, digging your sister stretches over the Atlantic and hits the Savannah. There is only one male in the pride. That would be the beloved lion king, Mufasa. Simba and Nala grew up in the same pride. Again, I reiterate, there are no other males making babies in the pride. That would make Simba and Nala half siblings. That's right. They used the British royalty method of keeping the King's bloodline pure. The punishment of such a relationship? A half-baked sequel staring your mutant off-spring that introduces new blood (in the form of one new male) into the pride. I'm not even going to tread near the notion of how Simba inherited all those females. Neither The Lion King or The Lion King II: Simba's Pride seem to have any scruples concerning raising children in a harem of sex partners. An orgy is simply quality "family time."
No mother, no father, no problem
Disney movies that have a parent tragically taken from the poor main character:
- Snow White
- Cinderella
- Bambi
- Tarzan
- The Lion King
Disney movies that don't even address the fact that a parent is missing:
- The Jungle Book
- Aladdin (Jasmine or Aladdin, take your pick)
- Beauty and the Beast
- The Little Mermaid
- Basil--The Great Mouse Detective
Really when you break it down, you have a movie empire built on the back of making children consider the prospect of being orphaned, while also teaching them that this will somehow make their life fuller.
We're all for teaching kids important life lessons through art, but speaking from childhood memory, there's something macabre about herding a group of small children into a close, dark space, flooding their senses with light and sound, and killing an effigy of one of their closest relationships right in front of their young, innocent eyes.
Read more: Classic Disney Movies | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/funny-4485-classic-disney-movies/#ixzz1QWAIYWzE
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